What if? is one of those questions everyone asks themselves. What if I had married that guy/girl? What if I had gone to college? What if I had followed my dream instead of settling down? Everyone goes through periods in their life where the "what ifs" get you thinking about the life you 'could have' had, but it can become your life if you let it.
When the 'what ifs' are about lost love relationships you can try to contact the person and see where that takes you. Just don't expect the ending that was in "Letters to Juliet". If it's about attending college, it's never too late to go back. I just read about some 94 year old who graduated, and there was a 96 year old who holds the record for oldest college graduate (and now she's going for her Masters!) It's about going after your dream and no one should give up on that!
God will give you a dream but if you don't go after it, following the path He lays out for you to follow, it won't become reality. Oh sure, you can follow YOUR dream, and maybe you will attain it through YOUR efforts, but it will never be the full realization of what you could have achieved with the Lord's help!
Stop for a bit and talk to the Lord about what dreams you have; then sit still and listen to the Holy Spirit's promptings on the direction you need to go. You may need to change direction if you're not heading the way God has planned. You may be asked to do something that makes no sense to you, but the Lord knows. Or maybe you are doing just what you need to be doing at this time in your life.
What if you never take that step to change your life? What if you just continue going on the path you're on when God has this fabulous plan for your life - but you don't know what it is because you don't know Jesus and therefore don't know His voice? I play the what if? game still - What if I had been 'born again' when I was younger instead of waiting until I was 47? It's not too late to let Jesus into your life if you're still breathing! It will be too late if you die without the Lord.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Been some time since I've bothered to come on here, with a lot having happened. Daughter, Maddy now home - along with her large, unpredictable dog. Elfie (great dane-boxer) can be fine, playing nice with Jasmine and then BOOM! She's on her in a flash. I now have stitches in my finger due to pulling this dog off my dog. Prong collars are not my friend! Jasmine now stays well away from Elfie, even when Elfie is in her kennel. The poor dog is terrified since this was the 3rd attack since Christmas - the worst one requiring Jasmine to have stitches in her ear. Maddy seems to think she can train this dog to behave, but I tend to lean toward the "once aggressive, always aggressive" school of thought. She even has Elfie on puppy prozac! Looks like it's gonna be a long summer . . .Am I a bad mother for not being too happy my daughter is home with her dog?
On a lighter note, I had loads of fun at a women's retreat with the church ladies. Dr. Roseanne Coleman used humor and song to get her point across and was one of those speakers you didn't fall asleep on - her talk was way too entertaining! When not in the sessions they offered, I was off zip-lining, horseback riding or walking the grounds. They also had a high-ropes course, rifle range (with kid size rifles) and an archery area, along with a climbing wall (inside and out). Alas, not enough time to do everything! It felt good to get away and recharge my batteries. And it's something I need to do now and then so I don't get burnout caring for Amanda. I never could figure out these moms that have never left their child (handicapped or not) with a sitter for more than a few hours. Sometimes you have to have "me time" and as a single parent I've learned the importance of that. I'm looking forward to possibly going on the fall retreat in October - finances and sitter availability cooperating, of course.
On a lighter note, I had loads of fun at a women's retreat with the church ladies. Dr. Roseanne Coleman used humor and song to get her point across and was one of those speakers you didn't fall asleep on - her talk was way too entertaining! When not in the sessions they offered, I was off zip-lining, horseback riding or walking the grounds. They also had a high-ropes course, rifle range (with kid size rifles) and an archery area, along with a climbing wall (inside and out). Alas, not enough time to do everything! It felt good to get away and recharge my batteries. And it's something I need to do now and then so I don't get burnout caring for Amanda. I never could figure out these moms that have never left their child (handicapped or not) with a sitter for more than a few hours. Sometimes you have to have "me time" and as a single parent I've learned the importance of that. I'm looking forward to possibly going on the fall retreat in October - finances and sitter availability cooperating, of course.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
New Day
It's gotten easier to get through the day without losing it. Never realized how hard the death of a pet would be, but this weekend showed me. Today was actually a good day. Spent most of the day working in the church office and talking to the other ladies who are going on retreat next week. So looking forward to a weekend away to recharge my batteries!
When you are a caretaker of another human being, you need to make time for yourself away from them. I love my daughter, but I have found a weekend now and then does wonders for my attitude. I need that time for me . . .away from changing diapers, feedings, and the lifting and carrying of 80 lbs. Oh, sorry, you haven't met my daughter, Amanda.
It's been almost 25 years since she came into my life - 6 min. after her twin sister. Her twin is getting ready to receive her masters in recreational therapy. Amanda is excited that she gets to attend the state Special Olympics again this year. Apparently there's a lot of parents at her school who won't let their child go away for 3 days, as Amanda attended last year and they can only take so many "wheelchair" kids with them. Hooray for me, I get a three day break without having to pay a caretaker!
So, my daughter is in school during the day, except for those days when she doesn't have school - holidays (sometimes 2 week stretches), snow days, teacher in-service days . . . you get the picture. But when she is home, I'm the one who takes care of her. There is no dad in the picture (their father died when they were 4 and a subsequent marriage did not work out), so I'm it. When her twin is around, she helps, but she's been at school for the past 6 years - the last 2 out of state. It will be (maybe) nice to have her home this summer while she interns here, but she has her friends and life away from us, too.
I try to do things with Amanda; we go to the movies quite often in the winter (the movie doesn't always matter, sometimes it's just getting out!), the zoo is fun when the weather is nice, walks around the neighborhood - let me tell you, when I let her give me directions she can take us for some looong walks; and just hanging in the backyard, swimming. We've even attended a few concerts and a Joyce Meyer Conference. Of course, heading to the mall is a favorite destination of hers - especially if lunch is involved! So you can tell, I get her out and about. We don't like to stay cooped up if we can avoid it.
You never know what life will hand you, but it's how you handle what life throws your way that matters.
When you are a caretaker of another human being, you need to make time for yourself away from them. I love my daughter, but I have found a weekend now and then does wonders for my attitude. I need that time for me . . .away from changing diapers, feedings, and the lifting and carrying of 80 lbs. Oh, sorry, you haven't met my daughter, Amanda.
It's been almost 25 years since she came into my life - 6 min. after her twin sister. Her twin is getting ready to receive her masters in recreational therapy. Amanda is excited that she gets to attend the state Special Olympics again this year. Apparently there's a lot of parents at her school who won't let their child go away for 3 days, as Amanda attended last year and they can only take so many "wheelchair" kids with them. Hooray for me, I get a three day break without having to pay a caretaker!
So, my daughter is in school during the day, except for those days when she doesn't have school - holidays (sometimes 2 week stretches), snow days, teacher in-service days . . . you get the picture. But when she is home, I'm the one who takes care of her. There is no dad in the picture (their father died when they were 4 and a subsequent marriage did not work out), so I'm it. When her twin is around, she helps, but she's been at school for the past 6 years - the last 2 out of state. It will be (maybe) nice to have her home this summer while she interns here, but she has her friends and life away from us, too.
I try to do things with Amanda; we go to the movies quite often in the winter (the movie doesn't always matter, sometimes it's just getting out!), the zoo is fun when the weather is nice, walks around the neighborhood - let me tell you, when I let her give me directions she can take us for some looong walks; and just hanging in the backyard, swimming. We've even attended a few concerts and a Joyce Meyer Conference. Of course, heading to the mall is a favorite destination of hers - especially if lunch is involved! So you can tell, I get her out and about. We don't like to stay cooped up if we can avoid it.
You never know what life will hand you, but it's how you handle what life throws your way that matters.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
My lovable lab is gone - off to run with all those great dogs that have gone before her. I believe dogs (and other pets) go to heaven to wait for us, because God would not allow us to create that bond with something He created, and not give us the opportunity to see them on the other side.
So for now she's off running with her family members and enjoying good health once again. It's going to be a little lonely around here without you, Jez.
So for now she's off running with her family members and enjoying good health once again. It's going to be a little lonely around here without you, Jez.
sad day
This will not be such a beautiful day for me as I have to have my 11 yr. old black lab put down. Granted, she has driven me crazy at times with barking at anyone who even came near our house, but for all this time I've felt safer and more loved - even when I wasn't being very lovable. Lately, she hasn't the energy to bark at much of anything.
Jezebel really belonged to my eldest daughter. Even though Dee left for school a few months after we got Jez, this dog was always soooo excited to see her when she came back home. All I had to say was "where's Dee?" and Jez would be turning circles and running to look out the window.
Ever since she was a puppy she liked to curl up under my chair at the kitchen table. As she grew, she would still attempt to fit herself under the chair, but eventually had to just lay with her head under it. I think it might take awhile before I stop twisting my body and legs to stand from that chair as to avoid disturbing her.
The experts tell you not to let your dog on the furniture, but I let my dogs sleep on the bed with me (or with my kids). Lately, Jez hasn't been able to jump onto the bed so she resigned herself to sleeping on her pillow next to my bed, or on the rug. My dogs also found a spot on the couch to perch and watch for "intruders" coming near the house. It was an old couch so I didn't much care, and when I got a new one I just put a cover on it. Watching Jezebel, who used to gracefully hop up on it, struggle to get her hind legs to come up with the rest of her, was difficult to watch last night. Thankfully the only steps she's had to negotiate is the step down as she goes out the dog door.
I remember a time that I had left a steak, still on the styrofoam plate, wrapped in plastic, on the back of the stove to thaw. Came home to find the styrofoam plate in the living room. I thought it was nice of the 2 labs to share with the cockapoo (who couldn't get out the dog door). I still come home to find pans I've left after cooking licked clean - even if they were put in the sink! Of course, Jezebel will act all innocent and try to make her sister, Jasmine, take the blame!
As much of a pain as Jezebel could be, she was loved, and she loved us. Dogs don't want to let you know they're hurting or sick, but looking in her eyes I believe she's ready to go. The light has already gone out.
Jezebel really belonged to my eldest daughter. Even though Dee left for school a few months after we got Jez, this dog was always soooo excited to see her when she came back home. All I had to say was "where's Dee?" and Jez would be turning circles and running to look out the window.
Ever since she was a puppy she liked to curl up under my chair at the kitchen table. As she grew, she would still attempt to fit herself under the chair, but eventually had to just lay with her head under it. I think it might take awhile before I stop twisting my body and legs to stand from that chair as to avoid disturbing her.
The experts tell you not to let your dog on the furniture, but I let my dogs sleep on the bed with me (or with my kids). Lately, Jez hasn't been able to jump onto the bed so she resigned herself to sleeping on her pillow next to my bed, or on the rug. My dogs also found a spot on the couch to perch and watch for "intruders" coming near the house. It was an old couch so I didn't much care, and when I got a new one I just put a cover on it. Watching Jezebel, who used to gracefully hop up on it, struggle to get her hind legs to come up with the rest of her, was difficult to watch last night. Thankfully the only steps she's had to negotiate is the step down as she goes out the dog door.
I remember a time that I had left a steak, still on the styrofoam plate, wrapped in plastic, on the back of the stove to thaw. Came home to find the styrofoam plate in the living room. I thought it was nice of the 2 labs to share with the cockapoo (who couldn't get out the dog door). I still come home to find pans I've left after cooking licked clean - even if they were put in the sink! Of course, Jezebel will act all innocent and try to make her sister, Jasmine, take the blame!
As much of a pain as Jezebel could be, she was loved, and she loved us. Dogs don't want to let you know they're hurting or sick, but looking in her eyes I believe she's ready to go. The light has already gone out.
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